Tina Williams Presents











{February 25, 2012}   The fun part, buying new clothes – sort of

Last night I went shopping. For the first time in years I’ve been excited by doing this. I had to buy a new pair of jeans last week because mine were falling off of me. My fat jeans that were tight before and gave me muffin top. Yeah, I said it. Gross, right? The new jeans I bought are two sizes smaller and fit loose.

I’ve found that when I go out I actually do my hair now. I use to think I didn’t do my hair because I was tired and busy, typical mom stuff. Guess I was wrong.

But, last night when I went shopping I was looking for shorts. Yes, shorts. I don’t even remember the last time I wore shorts. Apparently, the trend in shorts now is super short. Ok, this is way out of my comfort zone. However, I figured it can’t hurt to try it on, right? So here I am, in the dressing room at Target trying on some khaki shorts. I picked up the size I thought I was, maybe even too small, but I figured its motivation to make these fit better since I was still planning on losing more weight. Turns out they were a bit loose. That’s not the kicker though. I tried them on and looked in the mirror. Surely there was something wrong. My legs looked… good. It feels weird just saying that. I figured it was the distorted dressing room mirrors that always seemed to make you look thinner so I took a picture of myself. I can just imagine what the lady in the dressing room next to me was thinking when she kept hearing the clicking of my camera phone going off. Sure enough, I looked good in the picture too.

I sat on the stool in the corner of the dressing room for a few minutes just staring at the picture, every once in a while glancing down at my legs. A smile on my face the entire time. I looked good, and I felt good. I couldn’t believe I made it to this point. I looked down at the skinny caramel macchiato that I had with me as my Friday night treat. It was about 1/3rd of the way done, and I decided to toss it. Yes, it was the skinny version, better than the regular one I use to consume on a daily basis. But, still, I had a little ways to go, and I had found a new motivation.

You’re probably thinking that I bought those shorts and probably wore them home. Nope, they’re still back at Target. Looking at myself in the dressing room mirror is one thing, feeling good about walking out in public like that was another. Loosing the physical weight was one step, I realized there was also a mental barricade I’d need to lose as well.

I’m not quite where I want to be, but I’m halfway there. They say the last 10 lbs is the hardest to lose, that’s where I’m at now. I have 10 more lbs to go, 15 to get to my ultimate goal. But, nothing was harder than my first 10 lbs. I wasn’t just losing 10 lbs to begin with, I was losing habits I loved. There was a single quote that kept me moving.

Don’t let what you want today,  take away from what you want in the long run. That can apply to a lot of things, can’t it.

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